1. Culture shock does exist. While I have traveled and lived in many different locations in the U.S, I was not immune to this shock. I have fumbled with money, stared at signs trying to figure out what it's actually saying and been very surprised and almost panicked while watching traffic. No, they are not going to run into each other. They're just different.
That's my new term I'm trying to use. Different. Sure, it may feel weird to me, but saying "It's weird." gives a negative view on the differences between me and the citizens around me. They're not weird, they're not wrong. They're just different and this difference is what makes this "Study Abroad", not "Study Comfortable." And sure, they can think I'm weird. I am! I'm an American and boy, is that cool to hear. When I'm asked where I'm from, I have to say the country first. I'm not from here and I look the wrong way down the street. I also turn the handles to things the opposite way. I have never had a real cup of tea until I arrived here. Sausage rolls are pigs-in-a-blanket grown up and I talk extremely fast and loud. I finally had someone tell me they couldn't understand my "American accent" because it was so harsh. I didn't know how to change how I spoke, thus, I blushed and pointed. Within a few weeks, I'll get it down and coming home will be the weird thing.
2. My goal this semester is to work through my fears from home. The feeling of freedom is so relieving. I'm living on my own, cooking my own food and having a blast, yet my fear of money and running out of it threatens the happiness of being in a new place. If people want to go out, I don't want to panic and calculate how much money I have in my head over and over and over again. I also want to have the freedom to write. Write historically, write analytically, and write creatively without the constant voice in the back of my head screaming "THIS ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH." It will be if I work hard, harder than I do at Gettysburg. I don't have that choking fright here. The dramas of school haven't followed me here, whether it be creeping deadlines or straining research. Granted, school hasn't started yet. But there is so much more to overshadow the difficulties of school. The work is worth the play.
3. Being separated from your family can be the hardest thing in the world. I've done the whole summer-away thing since I graduated high school and I've survived, don't get me wrong, but I haven't done the across-the-world, huge time difference thing. When I'm awake, they're asleep. When they're asleep, I'm awake. There's maybe an hour window where I'm dozing off when they get off work/school and I'm wide awake while they're getting ready for the day. It's been tolerable until I finally saw my mother's face today. Our conversation lasted about 3 minutes and they had to go. I wanted to tell her everything and yet, I couldn't. Some teary eyes followed, but I made it through this week. It'll be when the real fun begins when our life-schedules will clash.
It has been an incredible week, and I can honestly say I am so thankful I took this opportunity. I was almost not able to come on this adventure, but I'm glad I stuck to my guns. I remember sitting in the Off Campus Studies office with my mother and when she said we might have to pull the plug on this trip, my response will be my new motto.
"I'm going to fight like hell to get there."
That determination landed me here in the UK, so why not carry that over into my academics? My friendships and my travels? I'm going to fight like hell to stay on top of everything. I'm going to fight like hell to enjoy everyone around me and branch out to people in the program. I'm going to fight like hell to absorb every little detail, every small treat and every single moment, because when I log on here at the end of this semester, I'm going to feel like I just sat down to write this blog post at the beginning.
Here's to you, ASE, and the beginning to a life changing semester!
~E
